Mentoring is in the Details

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Tips for Mentors
by Dr. Linda Phillips-Jones

MENTORING IS IN THE DETAILS

A recent client of ours, after observing some training I facilitated, said to me, "You know, mentoring is in the details." Her statement was absolutely true! Details make the difference between merely ordinary and exceptional mentoring relationships.

Mentors monitor numerous details in their own roles and actions, and they also give their mentees a hand keeping track of theirs. Read the following examples, and decide which ones fit your mentoring style and the needs of your mentees.

1. Details while exploring the possibility of working together
More and more potential mentees are going to be contacting you for help. Think about these details as you look at each potential relationship:

2. Details while building the relationship
If you agree to proceed, include these (and other) details during the first phase of your partnership:

Contact information for each other
Appropriateness of phone and e-mail contact between meetings; when to expect to hear back from the other
Specific details of what the mentee tells you about his/her life, career, and dreams for the future
Concrete ways of building trust
Your initial impressions about your mentee
Specific ways you can learn more about your mentee

Your mentee's tentative goals and objectives
Logistics (where, when, and for how long you'll meet)
Confidentiality rules
Role of the mentee's manager (or family members, if appropriate)
How you'll give each other feedback
Ways you'll measure the mentee's progress and the quality of your mentoring relationship
Additional contact information and communication ideas

4. Helping your mentee develop
During the longest phase, in which your mentee is learning and growing, take care to keep track of:

Each goal and development activity your mentee is trying
What you agree to do at each step
Meeting dates and when goals are to be reached
Resources (noting ones that help, ones to discard)
People to whom you can refer or introduce the mentee
Upcoming events in his/her life, your life, the partnership, the program
Ways to build in spontaneity
Good questions to ask
Specifically how you're reacting and what you require (from your mentee or from other sources)

5. Ending the formal relationship
As you wind down and end the formal aspect of your partnership, consider these details:

Specifically what you've observed in your mentee
Concrete ways to convey your appreciation, observations, and well wishes for the future
Feedback from your mentee about how you could be a better mentor
Future options for the relationship
What contact (if any) to expect from each other after this
Completing all requirements of your mentoring program

Be aware of what's going on and what's likely to come next. At the same time, don't over-structure your mentoring relationships, or they won't be any fun. For more ideas on being an effective mentor, see The Mentor's Guide and the "Mentoring that Makes a Difference" audiocassette package in Products.