This summer I've enjoyed communicating with a bright graduate student at the Open University of the U.K. Her task: to prepare an essay on the emerging ethics and possible Code of Practice for mentors. I appreciate Marion Troia's intelligent work and want to pose some questions to you:

1. How do you currently handle such issues as expectations of mentees, confidentiality, rewarding mentors, relationship boundaries, mentor competence, and endings of relationships?

   Probably none of us would question the wisdom of ethical and moral guidelines for mentors of youth. However. . .

2. Are ethical guidelines or "rules" needed for adult-to-adult mentoring?

3. If so, what should those guidelines contain?

4. How formal and mandatory should they be?

   For years, The Mentoring Group has advocated certain behaviors (under the umbrella of "etiquette") for mentors and mentees. For example, we urge pairs to discuss and come to agreement on such issues as the length of the relationship; frequency and types of meetings and other activities; how to give each other feedback; roles of the mentor, mentee, and mentee's manager; and confidentiality.

   We urge mentors and mentees to respect each other's time, work on mentees' goals (not the mentors'), follow through on commitments, prepare for endings, and be sensitive to cultural and other differences.

   We advise against romantic relationships between mentors and mentees, primarily because mentors have power and authority similar to that of counselors, and mentees can be hurt by such involvement.

5. Is this suggested protocol or etiquette enough?

   As a licensed psychologist in California, I'm bound to a very tight Code of Conduct. In order to renew my license biannually, I have to take several units of continuing education in ethics. Teachers, social workers, physicians, and other professionals have similar codes. Quite frankly, I respect and am happy to comply with my profession's code. I'm paid to be trustworthy, and my profession has very strict training and entry requirements.

   I'm not convinced that we need a formal code of practice for mentors, but I do believe we could do a better job of preparing mentors, mentees, and mentees' managers for their roles and the ethical issues they'll face. Most of them are asking for advice and guidelines, and they trust us mentoring leaders to help them navigate their partnerships. I continue to be surprised when organizations minimize the need for training of mentors, mentees, and mentees' managers.

   Yes, it's difficult to find effective mentors as it is. Yes, many mentors don't believe they need any training or advice. Some will refuse to volunteer if they hear about potential ethical issues and challenges. And yet, if we want mentoring to continue to be the successful, powerful strategy it is, maybe it's time to talk more about the topic of ethics. I look forward to receiving your views! Thanks, Marion, for stimulating my thinking and that of everyone who visits this column this month.

For more ideas on the etiquette of mentoring, see The Mentor's Guide and The Mentee's Guide on our Product List.