Up to now, you’ve been pleased with your mentor and what she has done for you. You learned a number of new principles and skills from her, and you met several of her coworkers and key contacts.

She also helped you solidify your career goals for the next two years. Most of all, you’ve enjoyed watching her handle difficult situations, all the while treating people with respect. However, here’s a dilemma that recently emerged for you.

At a meeting yesterday, your mentor introduced you as her future replacement. At first you thought you heard wrong since you’ve told her your plans to transfer to another department in another city. You were so surprised that you didn’t say anything to the people who immediately congratulated you. You realized that you didn’t hear wrong! Your mentor hurried off and you still haven’t talked with her. You’re quite sure you don’t want her job, even though it would be a significant promotion and salary increase.

What would you do in this situation? Choose one of the four possible answers below and compare your response to the reactions that follow.

a. Call one of the people you trust and who attended the meeting. See if you heard correctly or if you misinterpreted the situation. If you got it right, ask what he/she advises you to do.

b. Let it go. Assume that your mentor was just being nice (or funny), and don’t make an issue of it.

c. Reconsider your goals in light of this new possibility. Talk with your mentor about how she could help you develop and maybe even be ready for this opportunity.

d. Confront your mentor about this awkward situation and how embarrassed you feel. Ask her to tell the group the truth in the next meeting.

Our Reactions to the Choices

a. Not recommended. You would be going around your mentor’s back, and this could damage the trust you’ve built with her (even though your trust in her has certainly been challenged).

b. Maybe. If your mentor often makes jokes and obviously spoke in a teasing way, you could let it go completely or tease her back.

c. Probably the best choice. Sometimes new information and opportunities are what we need to reassess our plans and make better choices.

d. Another good choice. “Confront” sounds strong, but it can mean bringing up the facts of the situation and presenting your thoughts and feelings about it. If her actions bothered you a lot, be honest, and together come up with a solution for a next step.

For more ideas on being an effective mentee, see our Archive and Products. Consider ordering the booklet, Strategies for Getting the Mentoring You Need.