Last month you learned about the six key Ingredients of effective mentoring relationships and your mentee role in each of these. (Click here to review that article.)

Here’s an opportunity to assess yourself on these six factors. Take a few minutes to print out these pages and write your answers. Try to rate yourself as you actually are, not as you’d like to be. A similar self-check is available for your mentor. (See Tip for Mentors.) If it feels comfortable, invite him or her to complete or at least look over the mentor version, and discuss your findings in your next mentoring meeting.

Directions: For each item, rate yourself as follows:

1. Purpose

___ This mentoring relationship is a high priority for me.
___ Finding mentors/being a responsible mentee is one of the most important growth
      steps I can take.
___ I’ve been clear with my mentor on why I want to meet with him/her.
___ I’ve proposed one or more goals to work on with the help of my mentor.
___ I’ll recognize when I’ve reached my goal(s).
___ I feel good about the focus of this relationship and what I’m doing in it.
___ This relationship is a good use of my time.
___ From time to time I check in to see if we should change our focus in some way.
___ Once I’ve accomplished my goal(s), I’m willing to see the relationship shift focus or
      perhaps end for the time being.

Total points for Purpose: ______

2. Communication

___ I communicate in the ways (in person, phone, email, mail) we agreed.
___ I get back to my mentor in the timeframe we agreed.
___ The communication between us adds up to at least one or two hours a month.
___ I don’t communicate more often than we agreed unless it’s a special circumstance.
___ I’m an effective listener and remember what my mentor tells me.
___ I ask appropriate questions.
___ I share adequate information about myself.
___ I monitor my nonverbal language to be sure it’s conveying what I want it to.
___ I invite my mentor to give me suggestions for how I can communicate better.
___ I try out my mentor’s suggestions on communication as soon as possible.

Total points for Communication: ______

3. Trust

___ I’ve talked about the topics of trust and confidentiality with my mentor.
___ I’m beginning to trust my mentor more and more.
___ I’m becoming less guarded than when we first got together.
___ I share important information about myself with my mentor.
___ My mentor seems to be trusting me more and more.
___ I welcome and keep in confidence the information he/she shares with me.
___ My mentor can count on me to be honest.
___ He/She can count on me to follow through on my promises.
___ I avoid any trust-breaking behaviors such as canceling appointments without
      compelling reasons, talking negatively about others, or making excuses about why I
      don’t follow through.
___ I’m willing to forgive some mistakes my mentor makes because my trust in him/her
      is strong.

Total points for Trust: ______

4. Process

___ I take responsibility for scheduling our meetings.
___ I like all or most of our meeting locations.
___ I’ve checked to be sure my mentor likes our meeting locations.
___ I like the length of our get-togethers.
___ I’ve checked to be sure my mentor likes the length of our get-togethers.
___ I’m satisfied with the way we conduct our meetings.
___ I’ve checked to be sure my mentor is satisfied with how we conduct our meetings.
___ I’m aware of the four stages of formal mentoring.
___ I’m helping us move through these four stages.
___ I’ve checked to see if my mentor likes the style and frequency of our emails.

Total points for Process: _____

5. Progress

___ I’m working on one or more measurable goals with the help of my mentor.
___ I make it easy for my mentor to help me develop.
___ I take the lead on identifying interesting learning experiences I can try.
___ I welcome my mentor’s suggestions of learning experiences for me.
___ I do at least one learning activity in between our mentoring meetings.
___ I report the results of my learning to my mentor.
___ I’ve made significant progress toward my goal(s) since starting to meet with my
      mentor.
___ I’m making notable progress in my ability to be mentored.
___ My mentor knows and is satisfied with my progress.
___ I celebrate my progress.

Total points for Progress: _____

6. Feedback

___ I told my mentor how and how often I want positive feedback.
___ I receive the right amount of positive feedback from my mentor.
___ I told my mentor the way I’d like to receive corrective feedback.
___ I continue to ask my mentor for corrective feedback.
___ When I receive positive feedback, I express my thanks.
___ When I receive positive feedback, I use the information to reinforce my efforts.
___ When I receive corrective feedback, I’m usually non-defensive.
___ When I receive corrective feedback, I take immediate steps to apply it.
___ I remember to give my mentor positive feedback about his/her mentoring and other
      things.
___ (If agreed upon) I give my mentor suggestions for improvement.

Total points for Feedback: _____

Total points for all six factors: ______

Scoring: Add up your points for each factor, and then total all your points.

161-240 points: You seem to be a committed, effective mentee. Check this out with your mentor to be sure your assessment is accurate in his/her eyes. Continue to enjoy mentoring and continue to polish your skills.

81-160 points: You’re doing many things right as a mentee. Talk with your mentor to see if your assessment is accurate and if he/she has suggestions for improvement. Try to add or improve your performance on any items that you rated low.

80 or fewer points: It’s admirable that you took this assessment and want to improve as a mentee. You may be harder on yourself than you need to be. Talk with your mentor to see if he/she will give you honest feedback on what you’re doing right and what you could improve. Try to add a few new effective behaviors over the coming months.

For more ideas on being an effective mentee, see our Products and Archive.