It seems difficult to adequately thank each of your mentors that you appreciate, doesn’t it? You’re not sure if a tangible gift is appropriate, and even if it is, what on earth could you give? Will he/she give you anything, and does that even matter?

Thanking of each of your mentors is extremely important. Tangible gifts in the sense of presents aren’t necessary at all. But there IS something appropriate to give, in addition to all the oral thank you’s you’ve said out loud to each mentor since you first met: a written thank you letter from you.

Some mentees find that writing such notes or letters is very easy. With seemingly little effort, they create a beautiful letter in a matter of moments. However, most mentees find the task much harder.

In case you’re thinking of giving this gift to one or more of your mentors during the holiday season, here are some ideas for what you might include. This isn’t meant to be a formula! Each of your letters should be an original.

1. Why you’re writing

You could begin with how you’d like to share some things you haven’t said before. For example, “I think you know how much I’m enjoying our mentoring relationship, or at least I hope you do. I’d like to take a few minutes here to mention more about how it’s impacting me.”

2. Your first impressions

Did you approach this one of your mentors in the first place? If so, what drew you to her/him? What did you see that inspired you? Did your mentor approach you first? What was your reaction? Write about it. Were you excited, wary, unsure? Say so. What caused you to want to continue?

3. What you’ve learned

List several specific things you’ve learned and ways you’ve changed since working with each of your mentors. What knowledge have you gained? Has your character started to change in some way? What new skills are you gaining? What else have you acquired thanks to each mentor’s help?

Remember to be specific, not general. Instead of stopping at, “I’ve learned so much from you,” go on with a few details. “For example, I never would have confronted my office mate if you hadn’t encouraged me and helped me practice some things to say.” Or “Thanks to you, I’ll never again wait until the last minute to prepare for a presentation. Thanks for bailing me out on that lousy one I threw together.”

4. Something special you’ll always remember

Does each mentor have a special saying or mannerism that you’ve enjoyed or laughed about together? “I’ll never be able to watch Jerry Seinfeld again without seeing and hearing your impersonation!”

Did each partner do something extra special, go way out of his/her way for you? Mention it and why it’s so indelible in your memory. “I still can’t believe you introduced me to ____ and also said such a kind thing about me. Meeting her/him made me rethink all my graduate school plans. I’ll always remember and be thankful to you for going out of your way like that.”

5. Your intention to mentor others

A final gift that you can give each of your mentors is your commitment to pass on what you’ve gained from each mentoring experience and intend to pass on to at least one mentee of your own. If you think you’ll do this, mention it to each mentor and give him/her credit for igniting this commitment in you.

6. Your thoughts for the next phase of this partnership

If you and some (or all) of your mentors have already agreed to keep your relationships going for a period of time, reiterate your willingness to continue. If the formal part is about to end, let each one know you’d like to stay in touch, at least to some degree depending on both your schedules. Wait for your next meeting to negotiate those details.

For more ideas on being an effective mentee, see our Archive and Products.