Have you ever been surprised
when you tried to help a person develop, and S/he reported meeting
personal objectives? You were delighted but not too sure what
happened and why.
This month you’ll learn one theory to help you figure out
when your mentoring was done well and what you can add
to your repertoire as a mentor.
Positive and Negative Expectations
One reason that effective mentoring usually creates positive
results is that mentors and mentees expect the strategy
to work. The power of expectation alone influences the behaviors
of both people.
R. K. Merton, professor of sociology at Columbia University,
was the first to define what is called the Self-Fulfilling
Prophecy. When one predicts an event or outcome, the
expectation changes the behavior of the “prophet”
in such a way as to make the event or outcome more likely to happen.
This same phenomenon has been called the Pygmalion Effect,
named after the mythological prince who carved a statue of his
ideal woman out of ivory, fell in love with her, and saw her come
to life. This was the basis for George Bernard Shaw’s play,
“Pygmalion,” and the basis of the musical hit, “My
Fair Lady.”
Years ago, Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson tested the Pygmalion
Effect in education. In their classic experiment, they gave elementary
students an IQ test. They told teachers that certain students
were “intellectual bloomers,” when in fact, they scored
the same as did children in the control group. Eight months later,
when retested, the so-called intellectual bloomers showed an IQ
gain over those in the control group. What was perhaps most remarkable,
teachers said the “brighter” students were more appealing,
more affectionate, and better adjusted than were the other students.
This same effect has also appeared in experiments in businesses.
If you as a mentor expect your mentee to perform well in your
partnership and succeed in attaining personal objectives, your
mentee will usually do so. This happens largely because you
treat the mentee in ways that successful people are treated (e.g.,
respect his/her time, give the mentee compliments, listen attentively,
give her/him important learning assignments, and introduce the
mentee to valuable contacts).
A negative effect can also happen. If you don’t
expect much from your mentee, or worse, expect him/her to be a
poor partner and poor performer, your behaviors will reflect this
expectation. (For example, you may strongly or subtly discourage
your mentee from setting or pursuing challenging objectives, delay
returning calls or e-mails, not suggest strong activities to help
your mentee develop, and hesitate in introducing him/her to other
helpers.)
The same phenomenon also works in shaping you. If your
mentee expects you and the relationship to be positive and helpful,
he/she will convey those expectations through verbal and nonverbal
behavior toward you. If your mentee doesn’t expect positive
outcomes, you’ll sense it, and unless you purposely determine
to prove her/him wrong, you’ll drift toward becoming a poor
performing mentor.
Exercise:
Think of someone you successfully helped develop.
- What were your initial expectations of the person and your
partnership?
- Did your expectations start out positive or grow as the relationship
started to succeed?
- What were at least three of your behaviors that influenced
the positive responses of your partner?
- What did this person seem to expect of you? How did you react
to these expectations?
For the next 30 days, notice your expectations of someone you’re
formally or informally mentoring. What messages are you telling
yourself about this person’s abilities and limits, and what
behaviors are you demonstrating in that her/his presence? If you
suddenly heard that this person was rated in the genius category,
would your behaviors toward her/him be any different? See if you
can be one champion in this person’s life who expects greatness!
For more ideas on mentoring, check our Products
(especially The Mentor’s Guide
and 75 Things to Do with Your Mentee),
and our Archive.
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