In recent interviews with effective mentors and mentees, we discovered that most are making use of the tried and true mentoring practice of talking together. Others have good dialogs AND try additional learning activities.

Mentoring Conversations

Mentors and mentees are talking in their organizations’ cafeterias, in the mentors’ offices, walking across corporate campuses, driving to meetings, and while having coffee at the neighborhood Starbucks.

Instead of casual conversations, however, most are adding an element of structure not seen a decade ago. The dialogs have purpose, and usually the mentees are sending advance notice to the mentors of what the day’s topic will be. For example, one mentee said she wanted to discuss two particular work groups she was considering joining. Since the mentor was familiar with both, the mentee asked him to offer insights on the people, cultures, managers, work, and other features of the two groups. Another mentee had just taken a new job. He had five very tactical actions to run by his mentor. Yet another was planning to ask the mentor numerous questions about a sales meeting the mentor had just attended.

Other mentoring conversation topics we’ve heard about:

• Whether or not the mentee should pursue an advanced degree and if so, where and in what.

• How the mentee is struggling with his manager and what the mentee can do differently to make the situation better.

Since you are probably a volunteer and your time is limited, help your mentees add an element of structure to your dialogs. Keep some time for spontaneity and light chatting, yet make most of your time full of learning.

Other Development Activities

In addition to holding insightful conversations, mentors and mentees are trying additional things to help the mentees learn. Here are some examples:

• A mentor asked the mentee to write down some one-, three-, and five-year goals. The mentee had to put these in an envelope and mail them to herself. Near the end of their year together, they plan to open the envelope and see if the goals were met.
  
  
• A mentor-mentee pair collaborated on a paper and are seeking a publisher.
  
  
• Another mentee worked on a small section of the mentor’s research project, made a presentation to a group about it, and was asked by two in the audience to do some work for them.
  
  
• One mentor used the white board in her office to help her mentee analyze conversation styles. The mentee learned how to switch styles between the hallways and formal meetings.
  
  
• Another mentor likes to use 6-Sigma analysis forms to help mentees break down problems and answer the tough question, “Why?”
  
  
• Several mentees have put together their own personal “boards of directors” or “kitchen cabinets.” These are small groups of advisors who help the mentees reflect, make good choices, and feel good about themselves. One mentee said with enthusiasm, “This year my (formal) mentor is the chairman of my board!”
  
  
• A mentor-mentee pair used e-mail as a development tool. The mentee sent e-mail messages to the mentor, who in turn critiqued the messages, sharpened the mentee’s writing, and taught the mentee to soften an often abrupt “tone.”
  
  
• A mentor described how he helped his mentee walk through the mentee’s mid-year job review. Together they strategized what the mentee should do and say.
  
  
• Many mentors critiqued their mentees’ resumes. One told us, “I can learn a lot about how my mentee thinks by how she writes. How she puts together her resume tells me how she sees herself.”

We’ve heard of mentoring pairs going to conferences, working on mentees’ hobbies, going for bike rides, reading and discussing books, role-playing situations, and numerous other unique learning activities. Be creative! Yet always remember that the purpose of a development activity is to help your mentees learn and grow.

For more ideas on being an effective mentor, visit our Archive and Products. Consider ordering a copy of “75 Things to Do with Your Mentee.”