Have you ever been surprised when you tried to help a person develop, and it worked?! You were delighted but not too sure what happened and why.

This month you’ll learn one theory related to effective mentoring to help you figure out what you’ve already done well and what you can add to your repertoire as a mentor.

Positive and Negative Expectations

One reason that effective mentoring usually creates positive results is that mentors and mentees expect the strategy to work. The power of expectation alone influences the behaviors of both people.

R. K. Merton, professor of sociology at Columbia University, first defined what is called the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. When one predicts an event or outcome, the expectation changes the behavior of the “prophet” in such a way as to make the event or outcome more likely to happen. This same phenomenon has been called the Pygmalion Effect, named after the mythological prince who carved a statue of his ideal woman out of ivory, fell in love with her, and saw her come to life. This was the basis for George Bernard Shaw’s play, “Pygmalion,” and the basis of the musical hit, “My Fair Lady.”

Years ago, Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson tested the Pygmalion Effect in education. In their classic experiment, they gave elementary students an IQ test. They told teachers that certain students were “intellectual bloomers,” when in fact, they scored the same as the control group of children. Eight months later, when retested, the so-called intellectual bloomers showed an IQ gain over the control group. What was perhaps most remarkable, teachers said the “brighter” students were more appealing, more affectionate, and better adjusted than the other students. This same effect has also appeared in experiments in businesses.

If you as a mentor expect your mentee to perform well in the partnership and succeed in attaining goals, your mentee will usually do so. This happens largely because you treat the mentee in ways that successful people are treated (e.g., respect his/her time, give the mentee compliments, listen attentively, give her/him important learning assignments, and introduce the mentee to valuable contacts).

A negative effect can also happen. If you don’t expect much from your mentee, or worse, expect him/her to be a poor partner and poor performer, your behaviors will reflect this expectation. (For example, you may strongly or subtly discourage your mentee from challenging goals, delay returning calls or e-mails, not suggest strong activities to help your mentee develop, and hesitate in introducing him/her to other helpers.)

The same phenomenon also works in shaping you. If your mentee expects you and the relationship to be positive and helpful, he/she will convey those expectations through verbal and nonverbal behavior toward you. If your mentee doesn’t expect positive outcomes, you’ll sense it, and unless you purposely determine to prove her/him wrong, you’ll drift toward becoming a poor performing mentor.

Exercise:

Think of someone you successfully helped develop.

1. What were your initial expectations of the person and the relationship?
   
   
2. Did your expectations start out positive or grow as the relationship started to succeed?
   
   
3. What were at least three of your behaviors that influenced the positive responses of your partner?
   
   
4. What did this person seem to expect of you? How did you react to these expectations?

For the next 30 days, notice your expectations of someone you’re formally or informally mentoring. What messages are you telling yourself about this individual’s abilities and limits, and what behaviors are you demonstrating in that person’s presence? If you suddenly heard that this person was rated in the genius category, would your behaviors toward her/him be any different? See if you can be one champion in this person’s life who expects greatness!

For more ideas on mentoring, check our Products (especially The Mentor’s Guide and 75 Things to Do with Your Mentee), and our Archive.