At CCC/The Mentoring Group, we believe the most basic and important mentoring skill is Listening Actively. How well are you listening to your mentees? Further, how much are you helping your mentees improve their listening skills?

We hope that the following exercise will help you identify what you’re doing right...and what you may want to add to your listening repertoire.

Part 1. Listening in Your Last Mentoring Meeting (Check all that you did during your most recent meeting with a mentee or a small group of mentees.)

___ You spoke less than 40% of the time; your mentee(s) and silence filled up
       the other 60%.

___ You were 100% “present” as you made eye contact, nodded appropriately,
       smiled, and otherwise showed your interest.

___ You avoided glancing at your watch, interrupting, or showing other signs of
       impatience.

___ Rather than planning what you’d say next or thinking of other things in your
       life, you cleared your mind and concentrated on what your mentee(s)    
       was/were saying or not saying.

___ Unless it was an emergency, you didn’t accept or make a phone call during 
       this mentoring session.

___ You asked thoughtful questions that helped your mentee(s) probe 
       thoughts, think through options, and formulate strategies.

___ When you didn’t understand a point or wanted more information, you
       invited your mentee(s) to explain or elaborate.

___ You laughed appropriately.

___ Your mentee(s) seemed comfortable and had little or no difficulty opening
       up with you.

___ Your mentee(s), if asked, would say you seemed to enjoy this mentoring
       time.

Part 2. Recalling What You’ve Heard from Your Mentee(s)

In mentoring sessions over the last month, you’ve heard your mentee(s) talk about many things. (Mark all the facts you recall.)

___ Reasons for choosing/accepting you as a mentor

___ Hopes for this mentoring relationship

___ At least two things each mentee is satisfied with or proud of in life

___ At least one concern each mentor has about work or life in general

___ Each mentee’s personal and professional priorities

Part 3. Helping Your Mentee(s)Be Skilled Listener(s)

Finally, mentors usually help their mentees become better listeners. You’ve:

___ Noted how each one listens to you and others.

___ Observed each mentee’s ability to draw you and others out in
       conversations.

___ Shared the above two observations with each mentee.

___ Pointed out listening techniques you’ve used.

___ Let each mentee know when you’ve felt listened to.

Surprised by your responses? Pleased? Disappointed? Now that you’re more aware of these good listening practices, chances are good that you’ll start weaving them into your encounters with your mentees.

For more ideas on being an effective mentor, see our Products, especially The Mentor’s Guide.